Over nine months ago a friend of mine told me that she was pregnant. This was exciting news because, like me, she suffered the loss of a child. I was very happy and excited for my friend and her husband, but I also felt a presence of emptiness and grief related to my womb.

Shortly after learning about my friend's news - I told my mother about it during our quality time together. After I had finished talking, I sat at the table, and I began to weep. The news from my friend caused my heart's desire to surface. I want to feel a life growing in my womb again. I want to carry a child to full term and deliver a healthy baby into the world to live a happy and prosperous life abundant in years. Seeing my sorrow, my mother comforted me with a scripture, 1 Samuel 1 - the story of Hannah.

The first chapter of 1 Samuel talks about Elkanah, who had two wives; one was named Hannah and the other was named Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. The Lord had closed Hannah's womb and her rival, Peninnah, provoked her to make her miserable because of it. The constant reminder of her closed womb saddened Hannah, and it moved her to pray. Hannah poured her heart out to God and told Him her heart's desire.

I identify with Hannah because I know how it feels to want a child. It is true that I was able to conceive children. However, I did not carry them to term. And the fact that my children are not on earth with me growing and doing what children do causes me to grieve from time to time. So, my mind goes back to Hannah and her earnest prayer to the Lord concerning her longing, and I find comfort in knowing I can tell the Lord all about it.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.”

— 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

By no means am I trying to send the message that we will always get our heart's desire - in most cases we get what we need. And all we need is the grace and strength of God to endure whatever we face because we trust Him. I think as believers we expect to be delivered from adversity, but sometimes we have to go through hard times. But, we are reminded in the third chapter of Daniel that Lord will be with us as we go through the hard times - because His grace is sufficient.