Why is there so much division concerning hair in the Black community? As I've mentioned before, I participate on social media sites, and I've seen quite a few posts and statements that almost condemn those of us who choose to wear extensions or relaxers. I've read posts that state women who wear weaves or relaxed hair hate themselves, and we want to conform to what White America deems as beautiful. Why does it have to be so deep? Why does getting a relaxer have to mean self-hate? Can't I just like weaves? Can it be ok that I prefer wearing my hair straight? And please tell me how my hair defines how Black I am? I admit that I was apprehensive about sharing my thoughts concerning hair and the Black community - by no means do I want to offend or piss anybody off, but the subject puzzles me.

A few years ago I attempted to wear my hair naturally. I was pregnant at the time, and I was concerned about the chemicals having an effect on my unborn child. Wearing my hair naturally was also a request from my then-husband - and I disliked it immensely. I'm not sure if it was my lack of patience or talent-less efforts of styling my hair, but I looked bad. Don't get me wrong, I looked nice when I walked out of the salon, but every day after that was an uphill battle.

I have seen plenty of women who wear their hair naturally, and it looks beautiful, and I've seen women wearing relaxed hair and extensions that look equally beautiful. I see hair as an expression of style and individuality. Just like the flexibility of choosing a boot over a sneaker, we have the same opportunity when it comes to how we wear our hair. So, instead of looking at the state of a woman's hair as self-hatred - how about viewing it as self-expression of what each woman identifies as being what is best for her.

Most of us like to be pleased with the reflection we see in the mirror, and I encourage every woman natural or not - to do what makes her feel at her best and like the reflection in that mirror. And instead of us, as Black women, labeling who is better because of whatever - let's love and embrace our differences and the ways we choose to express them. You have to admit, variety is the spice of life. Furthermore, we experience enough negativity from people outside of our race. Do we really need to perpetuate it within our own?