The ‘Miseducation’ of Control

Earlier today, I was asked, “With the untimely arrival of the coronavirus, has your bucket list changed and if so, how?” I considered this to be an interesting question that has the potential to generate good conversations. However, what piqued my interest was the word “untimely.” The word means an event or activity happens at a time that is unsuitable or premature. But how is that possible? Nothing is premature or takes place at an unsuitable time.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV

According to the dictionary, there are a few words used to define control. However, I want to focus on one descriptor, the power to influence or direct the course of events. Generally speaking, we have the misguided belief that we are in control. The last three months have enabled me to see how I have deceived myself. Before the issuance of the stay at home orders, I had a habit of planning my day and intentions without consulting the one who makes all things possible.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Proverbs 19:21 EHV

The question—and the coronavirus— is giving me a chance to examine myself. I realize how difficult I’ve been making things. Acknowledging there is a time and a purpose for everything that happens is essential to experiencing peace. But more importantly, embracing the fact that God is in control of everything is a major key to managing my behavior. Things will be better for me as soon as I begin to fully trust Him. When I trust Him, He directs me for His purpose.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.”

Proverbs 2:5-7 KJV

He has a plan for my life and it is my responsibility to submit to His will. I admit there have been times when I made it difficult because I didn’t understand why or because it was painful. But I’ve learned that understanding will come in due time or not at all. Furthermore, comprehension is not a requisite for compliance.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

Jeremiah 29:11 KJV

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”

Psalm 37:4-5 KJV

So, has my bucket list changed? In a manner of speaking, it has. Now I earnestly seek God for direction concerning everything. It doesn’t just make things easier, it is also an act of obedience.

Peace in the Midst of the Storm

“What is it about your family, pets, or friends that brings you the most comfort, security, or strength, especially during times of crisis when facing the unknown?”

The above question was presented to me on Monday and I could hardly wait for the opportunity to answer it. I’ve had a few crises in my life; and in every situation, there were two resources I drew strength from to get through, my family and my faith.

Like a lot of people, my family is important to me and I realize how blessed I am to have them. My parents have always been supportive and loving. They have provided guidance, encouragement, instruction, and correction whenever I needed it. And even though I was known for fighting my brother’s battles when we were children—he became my “knight in shining armor” as we transitioned into adulthood. He is always there when I need him without question or hesitation.

When I was a child, our family was commonly referred to as “the family on the fan.” Years ago hand fans were typically distributed on hot Sundays during the summer months in black churches. There were three fan designs that I remember from the church I attended as a child. One had a picture of “praying hands,” the other was a depiction of Jesus knocking on a wooden door, and the last one had a picture of a black family of four—which the Bryants were compared to. Honestly, it was a fair comparison. The image depicts a father, a mother, a son, and a daughter—that is us. To me, the picture on the fan also tells a story of a family that values their belief in a higher being, which is also us.

My belief in God was instilled in me by my parents. They taught my brother and me to look to God for help in everything through prayer and reading scriptures. Their instruction has gotten me through a lot of difficult times over the years. I’ve shared one of those times before and it bears repeating.

When I was younger, we had testimony services in the church I grew up in. I can distinctly remember the recurring phrase “He is the Prince of Peace” by several people. Although I didn’t doubt the statement when I heard it, it would be years later before I experienced it for myself.

In January 2013, I was in the hospital fighting for my life and the life of my unborn child. I vividly remember the moment my doctor told me I had an infection and she feared both my son and I were going to die. The following morning I delivered my son and he died an hour later. The hope I had for Elijah to live—my desire to see him grow up—was not God’s plan. But in the midst of losing my son, I had a peace that surpassed my understanding. Three years before this experience, I had a conversation with my father about what it means to know something. He said, “You don’t truly know something until you have experienced it.” His words stuck with me and I learned he is right.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

11 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.”

— Psalm 46 KJV

So, what is it that brings me the most comfort, security, or strength, especially during times of crisis when facing the unknown? It is knowing Jesus is peace in the midst of the storm—for He is the Prince of Peace.