Nine months ago I considered being asked why I am single to be one of the most annoying questions ever—second to being asked why I didn’t wear pants in Middle School. I’ll address the pants inquiries at a later date—right now I’m going to focus on my “singlehood.”

In retrospect, I believe I found being questioned about my relationship status annoying because I hadn’t identified the true answer to the question. My response was always focused on other people. I said it was because the men I met were either inconsistent, lacked follow-through, or unavailable—emotionally or otherwise. But I’ve finally acknowledged the real reason why—me. That’s right—it’s not you—it really is me. In a nutshell, I’ve got issues.

It occurred to me that I broached the subject of dating on this blog three years ago—and sadly—not much has changed. I’ve been on a handful of dates that were nice—except for one that I also wrote about—and now I realize the nice ones didn’t get any traction simply because of fear and a lack of trust.

I am terrified of the possibility of repeating my mistakes. Although I’ve identified the things I did wrong in the past, I don’t trust myself to see who is potentially bad for me. But as I am writing this, I just identified another key piece to my dilemma—I shouldn’t be trusting myself.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thy own eyes; fear the Lord, and depart from evil. - Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV

So, I must ask myself what I am going to do now that I experienced this epiphany. The directions are simple, but I mustn't make following them difficult.