No Joy? Leap for It!

One of my friends had asked me the same question during practically every conversation we had, “Are you dating yet?”

I didn’t necessarily find his inquiries annoying because I know his interest or concern is coming from a good place, but it did cause me to regurgitate my reasons for not dating. And one of the main reasons was fear. I was afraid of not seeing someone is bad for me.

Here’s a little background on that—I believe I ignored a lot of tell-tale signs in a previous relationship that indicated we weren’t compatible. I was blinded by my desires, which kept me from seeing the pending trainwreck I was going to encounter.

This fear caused me to place a wall between me and future potential partners. This friend told me to let go of what happened in the past and open myself up to the possibility of a relationship. Although his advice was sound, I received the same nudge from two other sources; my mother and a popular sitcom.

People who know me well, are aware of my love for the Golden Girls. I watch the show faithfully on Hulu every day...yes, every day. I’ve extracted a lot of lessons from the show, but the episode “Rose the Prude,” taught me an invaluable one about taking a chance. In this episode, Rose reluctantly agrees to go on a double date with Blanche and two brothers. As the story unfolds, Rose had been apprehensive about dating because she was comparing every man she met to her late husband Charlie and it wasn’t until she met Ernie on this double date that she began to contemplate the idea of being with another man.

During Rose’s confession to her two best friends, Dorothy gives her some profound advice, “The bottom line is, if you take a chance in life sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But honey, if you don’t take a chance nothing happens.”

So, I decided to follow his—and Dorothy’s—advice, and I took a leap.  I’m glad I did. The change in my mindset has allowed me to experience feelings of excitement and happiness, which I hadn’t felt in quite some time.

You may not be in a situation like mine. You might be contemplating starting a new job, starting a business, or writing a book. Whatever you are pondering over pursuing that you believe will bring you joy—leap for it! The end result may be bad or it may be good, but you won’t know if you don’t leap.

Gratitude, Gluttony and Stewardship; What do These Words Have in Common?

Two weeks ago I participated in a special project at work that involved sitting in a small, hot, and eventually funky conference room for nine hours with 15 people for three days. During one of the breaks a conversation started about foods we liked as children, one of the attendees that I had considered to be an ass – based on his demeanor and unnecessary outbursts, made a comment about his 2-year-old son, he said, “I buy the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for my son, it is the only thing I can get him to eat…he is such a jerk.” My initial thought after hearing this was –“hmm…the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.” Don’t worry, I didn’t verbalize it, I know when to keep my mouth shut – most of the time anyway. Then I thought about his statement a little more in relation to myself. His comment made me think about my sons who passed away and I how much I would rather struggle with feeding them than the struggle I face not having them here with me. My point to all of this is gratitude.

How often do we discount the things we have or the people in our lives? Are we so consumed by obtaining what we don’t have that we don’t take the time to appreciate what we do have? Which brings me to the next word - gluttony. I'm pretty sure this word is frowned upon and considered a horrible noun. But, how many of us are guilty of it? I have to raise my hand high - I am guilty.

The word gluttony is typically used to describe individuals who are obese or assumed to be overeaters. However, gluttony is not just excessive eating or drinking. It is also defined as greedy or excessive indulgence, which can be related to anything.

I cannot begin to tell you how many pairs of shoes I own or how many articles of clothing I possess. Truth be told, I developed the habit of purchasing items because I liked them and not because I needed them - gluttonous. I don't need to buy everything I like. Which, brings me to the third word - stewardship. Stewardship is defined as the activity or job of protecting and being responsible of something. I must admit that I have not been a very good steward of what I have been blessed to possess.

The concept of stewardship has been on my mind for quite some time, and I have come to realize how I take so many things for granted. I had been pondering over my desires for new things. Don't get me wrong, I realize there is nothing wrong with wanting more than what we may possess at a given time. However, I had to ask myself; What are you doing with what you already have? Are you showing gratitude at the level you are at in your current position? Are you applying yourself and doing your best in your job? Or are you complaining and looking elsewhere? Are you being a good steward with what you have already been given as it relates to your possessions? Or are you being ungrateful and just obtaining more? Why should I expect more when I'm being an ungrateful, gluttonous, and horrible steward? 

I believe being a good steward means being grateful for what I have and utilizing it to the fullest to help myself and others. I also think it involves using resources such as; time, money, energy, and talents wisely. Additionally, good stewardship means appreciating those resources by living in the moment and cherishing what I have been blessed to have.

I am asking the Lord to forgive me for my ungrateful gluttonous ways and I am also asking for help in being a better steward.

I found it quite interesting how the behavior of another person, which I frowned upon, enabled me to see my own issues. Matthew 7:5 hit me like a ton of bricks.