MHIL Gratitude Journal: Entry No. 6; "I'm Giving My Family Their Flowers While They Yet Live"

When I started this journal, I considered my appreciation or feelings of gratitude for my family to be an understood existence. But a conversation I overheard in the restroom at work on Wednesday changed my perspective. By no means was I ear-hustling, I just happened to be in that space at that moment—but the more I think about it—it was for a reason. But before I get into what I heard, I need to share my feelings and act of repentance.

When I entered the restroom—which isn’t that big—there were two women standing by the sinks talking. I was annoyed by their presence and inconsiderate behavior toward others. I mean, they could have their conversation in the hallway. We need to practice social distancing, and I need to wash my hands so I can use the facilities! I was still thinking about it as I was “handling my business.”

They were still talking while I was washing my hands for the second time. At this point in their conversation, I only heard bits and pieces. From what I could gather, they both have children under the age of three. But I distinctly heard one of them say, “I put my mom in hospice.” Then I heard the other woman say, “I’m sorry, I understand. My mother passed away while I was pregnant.” And it was at that moment that I realized I needed to express gratitude for my family.

I am forty-four and I still have both of my parents and my brother—a lot of people can’t say that. The three of them are lucid with reasonable health and strength. But in addition to that, they are good people and we have healthy relationships—everyone can’t say that about their family either.

My mother has always been my biggest cheerleader. She is always available to encourage me with her words or embrace. She is my confidant and my rock. During the most difficult time in my life, she put my needs before hers and was literally by my side, comforting me and praying for me. Her presence and encouragement enabled me to regain strength and confidence to move forward.

Based on what I’ve been told, I believe my father has been the apple of my eye from the moment I entered the world. When I was a kid, I thought he was the strongest man in the world. To me, he is the ideal man and the image of stability. He is a man of few words, so when he speaks, you know it is important. When I was struggling in my marriage, my father spoke four words to me. He said, “you can come home,” which was exactly what I needed to hear.

My brother is my superhero. He always comes to my rescue, without hesitation or question. I remember his response to me every time I called when my first car broke down, which happened A LOT, he simply asked, “Where are you?” And I distinctly remember my then-husband calling my brother when I was in the hospital due to complications with my pregnancy with Xavier. After my ex-husband told my brother what was happening, the only thing my brother said was “I’m on my way.”

I am so grateful for my family. They love and support me unconditionally and I appreciate it. I am thankful for every moment I’ve spent with them and I intend to treasure each moment to come.

And although I eventually felt compassion for the women I overheard in the restroom, I am glad I heard their stories. I was reminded of the need to appreciate my loved ones. So, I will give them their flowers every chance I get while they yet live.

MHIL Gratitude Journal: Entry No. 5; Friendship & Love

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 KJV

Today, I am grateful for friendship. The inspiration for this week’s journal entry came from two sources. The first was my acknowledgment of the friends I have and my appreciation for the concern and encouragement they show me. I realize I am blessed to have people in my life who I can talk to about everything. The second source is Easter. Those of us who believe in the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ observe this ultimate demonstration of friendship and love every day; but, this Sunday, His act of obedience will be highlighted around the world.

As John 15:13 states, there is no greater love than a man who would lay down his life for a friend. For me, one of the ways someone can express friendship is by being a source of encouragement and love.

About two years ago, one of my friends gave me a gift that encompasses encouragement and the love God has for us. She gave me a devotional entitled, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Each day, I receive a message that is befitting to whatever I am experiencing. It was given to me at a time when I needed it. I felt broken and defeated, but the words of comfort and reassurance in this book reminded me that God is with me and He won’t put more on me than I can bear. I appreciate my friend for recognizing my need and giving me a matchless solution—the Word of God Himself.

I am eternally grateful for God’s unconditional love for me and true friendship and as a gesture of my gratitude, I am going to bless someone with a copy of Sarah Young’s devotional.

If you’re interested in a chance to receive a copy of Jesus Calling, share what you are grateful for with me. Please send an email to towandawrites@gmail.com stating what you’re grateful for and why.

Submissions will be accepted until 11:59 pm Saturday, 24 April 2021. The selected entry will be shared with our readers, and the author will receive a copy of the devotional.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

MHIL Gratitude Journal: Entry No. 4; Requited Encouragement

“Be an encourager. The world has enough critics already.” - Dave Willis

My decision to become a blogger came with a desire to encourage and inspire others to love themselves more. I honestly believe I have a passion for encouraging because I realize how impactful it can be, and I also know how detrimental the opposite can be. In a previous relationship, I was subjected to a lot of ridicule. And unfortunately, the constant belittlement chipped away at my self-confidence, and I started believing it. But thanks be unto to God, I recognized my worth before I fell completely into the abyss of untruth that was presented to me. I was fortunate that I was able to figure out which was Shinola.

I am a huge advocate for self-acceptance and focusing on how we see ourselves over how others view us. But truth be told, there are some instances where we will encounter people who will offer kind words and encouragement, which is what I want to highlight in this journal entry.

Over the years, I’ve been told I am “diplomatic” and I have a “calming presence.” Recently, a co-worker shared something with me that I was not expecting. He walked by my office, then he stepped back in the doorway and looked at me. When I saw him pop up again I assumed he needed something from me, but he gave me something instead. He said, “you have a calming presence. A lot of times I get upset and stressed here, but seeing you calms me down.” Although I’ve been told I’m “calming,” hearing it again recently was encouraging and inspiring. It made me feel good because this isn’t something I do deliberately—it is who I am. And being told my natural and unapologetic behavior helps him, encouraged me immensely.

I am grateful to him for sharing his feelings with me. I also appreciate this validating experience. Contrary to what I was told in that previous relationship, being who I am is a good thing.

MHIL Gratitude Journal: Entry No. 3; It's Okay to Feel My Emotions

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” - Fred Rogers

I read the above quote from Mr. Rogers last year and it stuck with me. I believe that goes without saying because I’ve used it numerous times in things I’ve written. I’m not sure if I’ve used it on this blog before, but regardless if I have or not, it bears repeating.

I am human. God made me, and He included emotions. There will be times when I’ll feel happy and some when I will feel sad, and that is okay. What I must focus on is how I handle my emotions.

As I was gathering my thoughts to write this entry, I questioned whether or not to pray about what is on my mind. To be perfectly honest, I had a thought that made me almost believe praying about my feelings would be ridiculous. But thankfully, I realized where that thought came from.

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober; be vigilant; because your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeing whom he may devour; whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethern that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us into his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.” - 1 Peter 5:6-11 KJV

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 KJV

I am grateful for realizing my emotions are a part of the package. And even if they feel overwhelming at times, I have a place of refuse and help.

“Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.” - Psalm 139:2 KJV

“From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” - Psalm 61:2 KJV

If I Play My Cards Right...

In my usual transparent fashion, I must share that I don’t know how to play cards. Well, I know how to play solitaire, but that’s it, and I can’t remember the last time I played it. But my lack of card game knowledge isn’t the purpose of this post. What I want to focus on is the well-known lyrics of the song “The Gambler” by the late Kenny Rogers.

The idea to write about this topic came to me in March 2016, but I went in another direction and wrote something completely different. Considering how I believe everything happens for a reason, I’m convinced today is the day I needed to write this.

My stomach hurts and I’ve been experiencing this pain for a few days. Although I made the stupid decision to consume chicken McNuggets from McDonald’s earlier today, I don’t think the “food” is the source of my discomfort. The culprit behind my situation is still me—I realize I haven’t demonstrated the simple words I’ve chosen to write about.

Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of living by the words quoted above. In life, we will experience things that we don’t like. The fact of the matter is, we can’t control the actions of others—unfortunately—we can only govern ourselves. And as much as we sometimes desire things to pan out in a certain way, we have to accept the things we cannot change.

I want answers to questions that have been swarming around in my head for a few days, and this lack of information is bothering me immensely! The fact that not getting what I want is causing me pain, lets me know I need to let it go; which, brings me to the subject of this post.

There are some instances in life when we should hold on and keep fighting. Then there are times when we should let go and walk away, and sometimes we need to drop everything and run!

Truth be told, I hope I’ll have a “Never Been Kissed” moment and I’ll get the answers I’ve been seeking. Hey, I am an inspiring writer too! But I think the best thing for me to do is live by the words in the song and fold ‘em. At the end of the day, my mental and physical well-being are a priority, so I fold.